Marching to the beat of a different drum. . .
Can you find me? Yep, second from the right!
The response to my last, more personal blog post has been overwhelming. Thank you all for the kind words, the e-mails, the comments via other social media that have mentioned "brave" and "courageous." Quite candidly, you must know I have never ever held myself up in such esteemed company, and have actually fretted to no end about the leap I took. On reflection, I think that's only natural and haven't taken myself to task over it (too much!). I still have my fingernails!
What I have learned, however, is that it is STILL important to get out of yourself and your fears. . .take on something large, and if it's meaningful and the intention is good, you may actually make a small difference.
I was profoundly touched by the "confiding" that came after the blog post, and despite the traumatic experiences many shared privately, what came across loud and clear was the overriding spirit, the sheer capacity to continue loving. . .despite it all. Hooray I say, hooray for all the wonderful women who support and nurture those within their reach and need. . .it's something our loving hearts and intuitive minds are so well suited for. The men who made their voices heard were fabulous too - we need your strong shoulders and that willingness to be sensitive - thank you.
"If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it."
- Lucy Larcom
So, how to get back to art afterwards? I've completed a painting with beauty at its core (my true north). . .more on that in the next post.
Right now I just wanted to express my extreme gratitude - you have given me a full heart. . .
Dear Sandy, I am thankful I did not experience rape and the shame you felt. But what you had to say was very relevant to me. I am a recovering alcoholic, 23 years now and counting them a day at a time. My experiences with alcohol led to some very risky behaviour on my part, starting during the time we were living at Carlton Arms with our two girls. Life went on, and I had periodic times of soberness before I really crashed in 1988. I finally got sober in 1989.You can imagine the shame and guilt I felt for years over the way things were while I was raising Elizabeth and then my husband's daughters. I found that until I could forgive myself, I really couldn't get any better emotionally. Finally, with some help, I began talking to other people openly about my alcoholism, then I began taking my favorite dessert to work on my sobriety anniversary. Now, I often joke about it. Getting it out in the open has been so important to my recovery and sanity. I think you must be feeling some of that now after discussing what happened to you. What a horrible, horrible experience you have had and lived with in silence for way too long. You are an amazing strong and loving woman and I am so happy to know you!
ReplyDeleteMary Ellen Caplan (Elizabeth's mom)
Mary Ellen, you've walked a long road - another example of how our stories make us what we are today. I'm so glad to know you and to say how much I honor YOUR strength. Our girls got the best of us, don't you think? You're so right about the "light of day" being better than the "curse of darkness." Thank you for writing and sharing - you've made my day and I'm so glad the years have found us in a shared orbit again.
ReplyDeletexo
We will have to talk sometime...
ReplyDelete