"In the end, I feel that one has to have. . .

 a bit of neurosis to go on being an artist.  A balanced human seldom produces art.  It's that imbalance which impels us. . .The artist lives with anxiety."  ~ Beverly Pepper




Tim  .  16 x 12  .  oil on linen canvas

Let me just say that the man painted above is not only an officer and a gentleman (yes, serving our country), but someone who handled a smattering of my own "imbalance" during the painting of his portrait with the aplomb of a saint, a true believer. 

 

Commissioned by someone very dear to both sitter and painter, I had only a few minutes one afternoon to visit with and photograph Tim before he jetted away.  In truth, I liked him instantly - you know how rare that is and how incredulous it feels to have a kindred moment of understanding with a stranger.  He left an indelible impression upon me, leaving NOT as a stranger, and I truly believe that feeling stayed with me while painting his portrait - often, if you're lucky, that connection guides an artist's labor more than any photo. 

 

If you're struck by the word "labor" - well, painting has it's fair share of true labor.  Yes, you're wallowing and delighting in the world of buttery paint, linseed oil, the smell and feel of your canvas - your senses pinging with the tools of your craft.  But to see a painting through to the end takes a large amount of courage, hard work and a smattering of crazy.  Frankly, in the middle of the process you may want to throw in the towel.

 

Considering that nearly every stroke of the brush comes at the end of one "decision" or another (exhausting!), the sheer amount of that dithering has to be held in check, doesn't it?!  I confess that in one moment I shot off an e-mail to Tim showing the crazy side - and thankfully, very thankfully, he didn't respond right away, as he's a true version of the younger person of today: more texting, less e-mail; hence, giving me time to answer and solve my own kooky moment of artist insanity.  Blimey! 

 

Of note, the setting sun behind Tim is actually painted from a Key West photo he particularly loves and keeps on his phone.  A blending of Old Master painting with digital meaning!  Our NEW world.  But, straight out of the OLD world, I received the rare thank - you note in the mail expressing lovely sentiments about the portrait from this very special man.  For all involved in making this commission a reality I wish sweet luck - forever and ever.  It was an honor.